Cost of War

     I served in our military for 20 years, seeing many countries and learning of new cultures. I have so many fond memories of these new places. Unfortunately in my travels, I had to go to countries that we were at war with. Seeing up close and personal, the horrific events takes a major toll on the men and women who go through them. After I returned from Afghanistan, I struggled with dark thoughts, anger, an much more. I would relieve the sights and sounds from Afghanistan on a daily basis. It was more than a year after returning, before I began to write poems about my experiences while at war. Once I began to write, I began to notice my mood gradually improving. I still had my rough patches, but writing down my feelings helped immensely. I put one of my poems on this blog so you could hopefully get a better idea of the cost of war on our men and women.

Tears from a Soldier

The scenery has changed in both the mind and body.

The cruelty in what I have done, stays with me.

The memories play inside my head like a movie

Reminding me of things better left in the past

Unable to stop the war that I desperately want to forget

Deeper and deeper I sink

Images of the cruelty attack my mind, body, and soul

I came home to family and friends

Smiles, laughter, and tears flowed freely

They laugh and cry out of happiness

I laugh and cry from all that has been lost. 

The smile on my face is often just for show

Comforting my family and friends. 

While the war rages on, not with the enemy, but myself.

Anger, sadness, anxiety, and depression assault me daily

Why can’t I beat this? What is wrong with me?

I want to live again, not just exist.

The violence has taken so much from me

I long for the day there are no more tears from a Soldier.